Pettiness? False friendships? Dating? Drama? No thanks!

At the age of 61 — and even true much earlier in my life — I’ve got no time and zero tolerance for any of the four or more. I’m essentially the same man that I’ve been for all of my life. Love me or hate me, it’s me that you’ve got those strong feelings for, not some convoluted or invented image that I’m projecting. And if all of a sudden there’s something about me that is new to you, then either you haven’t been paying attention or asking any or the right questions. It’s on YOU that you’re “surprised” to find out this, that or the other thing about me. YOU, sir or madam. Not ME.

I can think of at least three females — one of whom I married, another I met on FB, and the latest and last became acquainted with at a job — who come readily to mind. All three at one time in our chosen relationships were somehow shocked or surprised to discover some aspect of me — my past or my present — that killed whatever it was we both by that point in time had presumed to have had. Two indeed used words to that extent; the last is a holdout — she’s busy choosing to cowardly “ghost” me and not bother with the emotional honesty that friendships require.

The thing is….I’ve forced — and am currently forcing — myself to care when I didn’t then and don’t now. I guess that’s one of the signs that distinguishes a NEED for a relationship from a WANT for one. And I’m talking either platonic or erotic. Neither are needs at this point in my life, and on most days barely merit a want.

To facilitate the process of separating wheat from chaff, I’ve adopted a method to rid myself of fake friends and to screen out idiots from my life.

My main communicating medium is my flip-phone. So I rarely bother with sending or receiving texts. And I tell people that. Talking is my preferred mode of human-to-human engagement. I love the human voice, not the inhuman device.

Given this preference, I nonetheless allow for texting in quasi- or real emergencies, or if a quick response is all that’s required to get a point across. BUT since we DO have these new ready-made paths to facilitate our communication, I give people three chances to reply or to respond to my initial query/call. If after my third attempt I get nothing in response, I delete them as a contact. And If we then go a month without communicating, they join my list of creditors and are blocked.

Sound extreme? I don’t think so. What’s to be gained by pretending something exists when it doesn’t? Life’s too short to waste on people who clearly neither want nor deserve me or my time. And I’m fine with that.