I’m writing to you concerning the Chicago scene report submitted in the October issue. On the whole, Val, the woman who wrote it, did a decent job, but there aresome very significant things she failed to mention which need to be said and/orat least clarified. I’ve been involved with the Chicago scene now for roughly 5or so years, and I know I couldn’t possibly give a completely accurate scene report, simply because there is so much going on. Our scene has practically tripled in size in the last two years. However, I can’t see why Val tried to be so ambiguous in her report, especially when she mentioned the show which was cancelled. She openly admitted not attending many gigs, so this might be the reason for lack of details. She wasn't even at the show I'm talking about. What I'm trying to say is that if she wants to do a report, or anyone for that matter - anywhere - I feel it’s only fair to give an honest report, even if it might make the scene you're reporting on look a little tarnished. Well, let me just explain.
In her report, Val mentions a showat the Wellington Church on July 19th and vaguely goes onto something about the "Thunderdome theory", which, because of vagueness, I have to assume is the answer tosome sort of problem, although she never actually admits one exists. I found this a bit confusing, and I know what happened at the church, so I can imagine how perplexed others were. Anyway, the showin question was held at the church and was a benefit for INFACT, an anti-nuclear organization that a number of punks do volunteer work for. The show didn’t go on because of a confron- tation between a neo-nazi organization called Romantic Violence and members of the scene who opposed them. The show was shut down because the confrontation led to violence and the people who run the church didn’t want it to carry over inside. Previous to this show, Romantic Violence had tried to disrupt other gigs and had been (and still is) using various tactics to find support within the scene and out. Their numbers are still quite small, but they have managed to do a lot of damage in terms of harassing people and even physically injuring those they see as threats. The show's demise was a result of a lot of personal and politaical differences coming to an inevitable boil.
It's unfortunate that things led to violence, but to say, as Val did, that both sides should fight it outto the death, the Thunderdome theory, so it won't affect anybody else, is "stoopid". She fails to realize that "it" has al- ready affected everybody else and will continue to do so until groups like Romantic Violence are gone forever. Racism, hate and violence, like it or not, are a part of our world and are very serious subjects. The people who are trying to counter what groups like Romantic Violence are pushing realize this and are not in need of criticism; they need help. People like you, Val, on the other hand, who are content with just sitting on their asses and acting as if the problems don’t exist, are the ones who deserve the criticism. Why don’t you take a long hard look in the mirror and maybe you'll see a real problem?
In addition to this, which Val will probably omit if she does another report next month, was yet another violent confrontation betweenboth sides. Last weekend, the John Brown Anti Klan Committee organized what was supposed to be a "Stamp Out Racist Grafitti” campaign. This would have involved the removal of a lot of Romantic Violence's handiwork (among others), and would have been a very visible stand against them and similar organizations.
Unfortunately, at the point we were all supposed to meet, members of the KKK, the American Nazi Party, and Romantic Violence decided to stage a demonstration. All of the above organizations have been seen recently at anti-apartheid protests out in front of the South African consulate, where they showed their support for the white supremist govern- ment. Anyway, things started out on a rather peaceful note as both sides just exchanged insults and slogans. Then, at one point, we were able to surround the Nazis, etc., and scream loudly enough that they could barely hear each other. This led to both sides grabbing at each other's banners and placards and attempts by the Nazis to antagonize us into attacking them, which eventually worked. As one person would be taunted into going after one, he or she was jumped by ail of them. Eventually, we stopped giving in to them, which meet a response of shields and flagpoles being thrown at us. Then things erupted into quite a melee, and three of us had to be taken to the hospital for minor injuries and one or two of the Nazis were bleeding pretty badly. The police did show up just as the Nazis were planning retaliation with weapons. No one was arrested and the cops escorted the racists away from the area.
Only one news team covered the incident, and although it was the top story, they gave one the impression of both sides being crazy or wrong. It seemed to reflect the overall attitudes of people not willing to take sides or commit themselves. Personally, the whole thing only served to reinforce my own beliefs. It probably shocked the shit out of others who didn't expect matters to go as far as they did, or never really took the Klan or the Nazis very seriously. That Saturday brought it all home and shook us all up. I don't know where things will go from here, but I hope everyone realizes how serious these people are and how far they’re willing to take things. They aren't a joke and they certainly shouldn’t be ignored.
At a NAKED RAYGUN gig on the day before Labor Day, some of us helped the JBA- KC distribute a flyer I drafted up, explaining the goals and exploits of Romantic Violence, where they fit in as far as the growing trend toward racism, as well as a warning to others concern- ing the way that they've been trying to win people to their side.
There are a few other things which have changed/developed since last issue, including the opening of two halls and the closing of the Kaleidoscope Club. The halls will be a definitive plus for the scene, but there is still a question of what type of music will be allowed. Of course, I mean both places may refuse to do hardcore gigs. We'll have to wait and see. Finally, Russ Forster is attempting to revive Positive Force, so those interested can write him at 2715 N. Bosworth/ Chicago, IL, 60614.
I’ve believed for years now that the closer I get to the end of life, the less cluttered and mediated my life should be. A sort of preparation: I want to face the next chapter as unencumbered as possible. As clear headed and wide-eyed as possible. When I die, I want to be able to reflect, unobstructed, on the life left behind, noting how much of it was my doing and how much of it was made by others. I want to take a full measure of my will — to die with having as much full-knowledge of my regrets and graces. I want God to have all of me and not leave a molecule behind.
My ghosts are my memories, the ones so embedded in my psyche that I feel the need to begin praying at the moment my mind returns to them. And I’m haunted not so much by the regret of having not done more, but by not recognizing and allowing the gifts that I’ve been given to have borne fruit earlier in my life. Too many distractions and the lack of will. Too caught up in the here and now. Too desirous of wanting or needing to be a person that I was never intended to be.
My epitaph might read: “I am much of whom I was and most of whom I was intended to be.” I think it captures the idea of human “being” pretty well. Because we, as a reflection of the “world” we live in, are in constant flux; but there is also no denying how our lived pasts continue to influence our constant making and re-making.
And yet I would still argue that there is an undeniable essence to Our Being — our uniqueness — that we, at our worst, want to deny and challenge; but only to our ultimate detriment. That denial creates the dis-ease that fosters ills, physical and emotional.
If nothing else, I have strived to live in accordance with what I believe Creation has outlined for me. And I have been willing to “pick up my Cross,” and to then suffer its consequences. That’s amounted to many joyful moments but perhaps even more heart-wrenching ones, as I have watched far too many of my loved ones die, many times as I have held them and they had breathed their last breaths.
I have had two visions of how I’ll die. I don’t sleep much, so I don’t dream much. But these have been recurring so I figure that they must mean something. (No coincidences for me, I’m afraid!)
The first has featured me, out in the dark, on a busy rural road, trying to usher off an opossum from it and then getting hit and killed while doing so. This has nearly happened, once with an opossum, three times. So not much of a stretch!
In the second, I am shot and killed, anonymously and from afar, by someone whom I know does not like my politics/way of life/etc. A bit more of a reach; but given where I live and the foes that I’ve made over the years here, maybe not.
***I’m always open to hearing your thoughts on anything you read here, positive or negative; or if you just want to say hello. My email is jjankow63@gmail.com Thank you for bothering!***